Monday, June 11, 2007
Things Don't Always go According to Plans
Hey...well I have had a lot on my mind and I thought to myself that I should use the blog that I have to write them down even though nobody reads...ohh well...I now use this blog to just write down all my feelings and right now I have a lot...well first...I am going to be a senior...WOW...it feels so wierd...and with becoming a senior I have to be more responsible...and since I am staying at the same school with the same 30+ students along with a couple new faces, I fell short of what I wanted to accomplish among the other students (my friends) and myself...as they have all created themselves and to me, have created little cliques, I feel that I am still confused on what my role to them is...this bonfire that I went to yesterday showed me a lot about the people in our class...I saw that we had funny guys, (Max and Flck) Guys who have gone through some stuff earlier in their life, (David and Dustin) and I found myself alone and not knowing what I was...I mean sure, I might be over-exaggerating but I really do feel left out on a lot of things and when I do actually try, it hurts even worse because I realize that I cannot fit in at this school the way I thought I would...I thought it was a family, but right now I feel like the son out of the 5 kids that the parents do not seem to know exists...Also at the bonfire I thoguht to myself about the girl I like...she thought that I got angry everytime another guy talked to her and everything which I think would be completely rude and unfair if I did...I told her that I wa just jealous...I mean what guy can't be jealous...I don't think my dream girl would even have a chance of being as great as her...she is beautiful, smart, has a future, and funny...everything that I love...and I want Flick to know that I only get jealous because you seem to hang around her a lot and talk to her and from my point of view it seems to be flirting, but I don't know if it is and I apologize...btu I feel that I am not getting a chance to even let her get to know who I really am and what I am about...but she seem to let others do the one thing I want her to let me do...well yeah so if for some rwason somebody does actually read this, comment and let me know what I should do or if there is anything I am doing wrong---peace---
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2 comments:
ok jon so first of all
i hate that you feel left out. i dont really know why you do...but i hope you realize that you have a lot of people that love you and want to be around you.
second...i think i know who your talking about, unless things have changed, but i can telll you that no guy in our class has a shot with her. her mind is set. i hope you also know that there is the "perfect girl" out there for you, and right now she may seem like it, but when you mature and become older, you will change. your mind will change and your idea of a perfect woman will change. im not saying that it is bad to like her, because we all have our crushes ("but amanda it isnt a crush" i know) if you dont let your feelings gett in the way and just hang out with us, you will get to know her more. dont let jelously get in the way. true love is not jelous. just wait, you will meet a wona that truly knocks you off your feet. and when it happens, you will know it
<33
Hey. I would have read this earlier(cuz I DO read yours!) but this is the first time I've been on in SOOO long!
I hate that you feel left out too! Idk what to do or how to fix it though..
And unlike Amanda, I have NO clue who you're talking about but I do agree with her that you will get over her and you'll be ok.. even if you don't think so now.
Just know that I love ya and I'm so glad that you're coming back next year!
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